How to Actually DO What You Put Off

 This free downloadable  ABC worksheet from the folks at www.smartrecovery.com  shows you how to apply the principles of cogniive-behaviorl psychology to take control of your life in matters large and small. You can use it for everything from paying your bills on time, to stopping smoking, or deciding on which career path to follow.

It first asks you about the causes of something you would like to change in your life, and then asks about the emotional consequences which were the result, your beliefs about what happened, what beliefs could be substituted for the ones which brought about the unpleasant results, and how those changed beliefs make you feel.

You can write on the form itself, clearing and changing it as often as you like. Then, when you are finished, you can either print it out or save it as a text file, using a different form for each problem you would like to work on. To re-examine it or re-do each form that you have completed, just call up that particular file and continue to modify it as you progress.

It could prove to be extremely helpful if you are willing to give it a try!

 

False Perceptions Which Drive People Crazy

It isn't what happens to us, but what we think about what happens to us that matters most.

The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, "Men are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them;" and Shakespeare said, "There is nothing good nor bad, but thinking makes it so."

Most of us have probably heard the expression, "Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses." Sometimes, we tend to look at the world through mud-colored glasses! Most of us have one or more ways of perceiving things which make them appear to be much worse than they actually are. See how many of these thought patterns might be clouding your own view of the world.

All-or-nothing thinking: Everything is good or bad, with nothing in between. If you aren't perfect, then you're a failure.

Overgeneralization: A single negative event turns into a never-ending pattern of defeat. "I didn't get a phone call.I'll never hear from anybody again."

Mental filter: One single negative thing colors everything else. When you're depressed, it sometimes feels like you're "looking at the world through mud-colored glasses."

Disqualifying the positive: If somebody says something good about you, it doesn't count. But if somebody says something bad about you, you "knew it all along."

Jumping to conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

Mind reading: You think somebody is thinking negative things about you and don't bother to check it out. You just assume that he is.

The Fortune Teller Error: You think that things are going to turn out badly, and convince yourself that this is already a fact.

Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization: Imagine that you're looking at yourself or somebodyelse through a pair of binoculars. You might think that a mistake you made or somebody else's achievement are more important than they really are. Now imagine that you've turned the binoculars around and you're looking through them backwards. Something you've done might look less important than it really is, and somebody else's faults might look less important than they really are.

Emotional reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things reallyare: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

Should statements: You beat up on yourself as a way of getting motivated to do something. You"should" do this, you "must" to this, you "ought" to do this, and so on. This doesn't make you want to doit, it only makes you feel guilty. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger,frustration, and resentment.

Labeling and mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. When you make a mistake,you give yourself a label, such as, "I'm a loser." When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way,you attach a negative label to him, "He's an ass." Mislabeling involves describing an event with languagethat is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

Personalization: You believe that you were the cause of something bad that happened, when you really didn't have very much to do with it.  

Superstorm Sandy and Anniversary Reactions

by Annette K. Schreiber, Ph.D., LPC

A nodal event is an event in a person's, family's, community's or country's life that affects it profoundly. Some events are positive, like the election of a president or the birth of a Royal baby. Some events, however, are so negative, that they throw everything out of equilibrium. Sandy was such an event.

The Jersey Coast and those of us who were personally affected by the storm know that things will forever be different. We, as individuals, families and communities, have been knocked off balance. Everything has changed, as we search for the "new normal."

When we approach anniversaries of negative nodal events, we may find that we don't feel "quite right." We may become symptomatic in many ways, physically, emotionally or behaviorally. One person may get a bad cold, or break out in a rash. Another may quietly get drunk, or not so quietly go speeding down the highway and get a bunch of tickets. And most people have emotional upsets. Feeling depressed, sad, irritable, anxious, or having panic attacks are ways that many people "mark" these anniversaries. Why? Do we decide this is how we are going to observe the anniversary of Sandy? No, it is not a conscious decision. Each individual is part of a system: a family, a community or a country. And if the system is out of equilibrium, there are shockwaves that reverberate throughout all parts of the system, bringing on symptoms.

Six months after Sandy, many members of our communities remain in deep trouble. The disillusionment stage of recovery has set it. The insurance companies, FEMA, SBA, the local, state and federal governments aren't moving fast enough to get people back in their homes, or their businesses up and running. Many people remain displaced, and have lost everything they owned and are desperately trying to figure out how to move forward.

But, there are random acts of kindness, people volunteering and giving, and countless fundraisers. Groups of people gather in formal and informal support groups to help themselves and others make sense of it all, and to draw strength from each other.

So, if in the next week or so, you don't feel "quite right," realize that you are not alone in feeling this way, and that we have all been knocked for a loop. But our people and our communities are strong -- Jersey Strong, so Keep Calm, and Carry On!